Enough About Dogs, Cats Are Fun Too (surrealy speaking)!

Alright, I've put up with countless pictures and stories of dogs from several of you bloggers out there. Well, it's time for a little cat humor.



This is Spot (a.k.a: Stinky, Old Smeller, El Gato, Dumb Katze, Fuzzy, Kitty, Ki Ki, etc., etc.). No those aren't the names we've given her, those are her many different personalities!



She is about 15 yrs old now, but still thinks she is a kitten. Quite frankly she's not much bigger than a kitten, and is still very active. (notice in the photo that she is letting me know that she is not happy to have her picture taken, especially since she was freshly shaved!)

We picked her up at a Halloween party, when she was really too young to have been taken from her mother, saving her from a life in the wild (Keep this in mind for later). The following day my wife commented: "Why would anyone bring kittens to a Halloween party?". To which I responded the obvious: "Well, it worked didn't it!". Fifteen years later, here we are.

She was small enough that she slept in the opening to a Puffs box, and we cared for her so that she would grow up healthy. The thanks we got, a nasty disposition connected to sharp teeth and claws! For no bigger than she is, she certainly thinks she's tough. She is a pretty kitty and of course people would like to pet her, there in lies the rub. It would go something like this: pet, pet, purr, attack! The cat would let you pet her about twice and then she would latch onto you with teeth and all for feet, claws extended of course. I would come to work and people would ask if we had a pet Bob Cat. This promted the kitty's first Christmas gift, spaying and declawing. As expected, she loved us for it!

She's also a long haired cat, so in the summer she sheds everywhere, and usually mopes around the house flopping down onto the floor about every four feet of walking or so as if to say "How about turning the thermostat down a little, I'm dying here!" (as if we could be so lucky!). So one summer we decided to have her shaved. Now let me tell you, this is entertainment!

First of all the nice lady at the Vet asks us (over the phone) if we think she will need to be sedated. After getting back up from the floor and stopping the laughter we of course replied, "Ah yeah!, you might want to make it a double and be sure to save some for yourself!"

Now the fun really starts. We get the cat carrier, which is no problem as anyone with a cat knows, you merely set the cage on the floor with the door open, ignore the cage, and the cat will promptly enter to investigate. I don't know why that is, but cats are a little weird that way! All we do is close the door and we're on our way. This is when we remember that the cat hates to travel. As soon as she detects movement she let's out these sounds that would frighten Linda Blair! Something between a howl, a growl, and a scream! It's absolutely unbelievable, especially coming from such a small little kitty.

We get her to the car, Kitty siren up to full power, and head to the vet. We get there and everyone clears us a path, wondering just what in the world kind of animal we have that's making all that racket. We sign in and the vet says: "Hello Spot, I could hear you from the back room!". Someone from across the room asks: "Is that a badger?", I reply: "No, just an irritated little kitty with an attitude issue!". We leave the kitty in good hands and head off to work.

Lightnin calls the vet later that day to see what time we can pick up our friendly little cat, and the vet says she'll be ready around 4:00PM. Lightenin replies: "Ok, we'll swing by and get her and then grab something to eat to take home." To which the Vet comments: "Oh take your time and get some dinner first. If you've never seen a shaved cat, you may lose your appetite!"

So we take the vet's advice, eat and then get the cat. When we come to get her she's ready to go, but she's a bit more quiet, still a bit loopy from the drugs. The ride home is a bit less noisy too. We get home and here's where the real entertainment starts. We open the cage and out pops the hairless cat. Both of us break out into laughter at the sight (if you read the comic strip Opus, think of Bill the cat. Slap a pair of jockey shorts on Spot, and there you are!)). The cat, of course can see no humor in this and immediately begins to curse us for humiliating her in this manner! And if you own a cat you know what I'm talking about. Spot was definitely using some choice kitty-speak words on us!

As I said earlier she's still a bit loopy, so she's sort of swaggering when she walks, and of course still meowing profanity with each step. The anesthetic eventually wears off, and to our surprise the cat is actually quiet, and rather subdued. It seems that the small bit of humility that she has to deal with has tamed her down a bit. Although she still just shoots me a dirty look every time she enters the room, as if to say: "Stop laughing, it's not funny!".

So you see, cats can be fun too!